Donald Trump releases 2020 tax returns, showing huge gains and returns worth over $5,000,000,000 billion from Bitcoin
Late Thursday afternoon, Donald Trump was seen walking out of HR & Block, looking quite cheerful as he dropped off his 2020 tax returns. Up until the end of his presidency, the great Donald had been under fire for never releasing his tax returns. In late 2020, he did. Most were not surprised, and some were bewildered that such a great businessman could have accrued such significant loses.
Well that is all in the past. As of April 2021, Donald Trump now holds 20% of all Bitcoin. “I really, really, really find this whole magic internet money thing fascinating. Oh and look at my gains. I like gains.” Trump told reporters as he walked across the street to GameStop to buy his son Barron the new Call of Duty Crimson Ops. He made Eric wait in the car as him and Barron spent over an hour perusing every game title at the most successful company of 2020, and the hottest stock Wall Street has ever witnessed. GameStop and AMC have both been extremely pivotal in educating and helping guide Hedge Funds and Wall Street through the financial hardships due to the Covid-19 pandemic. “If it wasn’t for GME or AMC, I wouldn’t be able to buy this new Miata. I can now move from Redhook to Ridgewood,” Jamie Dimon stated in an email sent to Bloomberg Financial back on January 28th. In a muffled cry for help you could overhear Eric yelling “I still have shares in GME” from the car parked across the street.
But it wasn’t stocks that helped Donny cash out with mad gains and a surplus of new yachts, jets, and jetskis, it was the cryptocurrency Bitcoin. Trump’s tax returns show that he started hodling Bitcoin right around March when it had sunk down to around $3500. “I may not do everything right, but I know a good buy when I see one. Ask Stormy.”
Mr. Trump reported purchasing over $1,000,000 worth of Bitcoin from March all the way up to August, right when he could sense that the market was “heating up” like Julius Randle in every game with the Knicks and in his NBA Top Shot Moments. Since August, Donald has been holding over 260 Bitcoin worth over $15,600,000 dollars.
Donald Trump isn’t the only high profile figure buying Bitcoin, Lindsay Lohan has been buying $5 worth of TRON and KLV ever since her and Justin Sun went to AppleBees for after their first Tinder date. “Justin just kept talking about magic internet money that can do all sorts of things, and I just wanted to drink. And yeah, he paid for my booze. I blacked out and woke up with TRON in my Klever wallet,” said Lohan.
The Cryptocurrency space is filled with all sorts of characters, but that’s just what we are all about. Peace, love, and gains. See you guys on the moon. Happy 2021!